Of Eye Glasses and Action Figures

Years ago my father purchased a six pack of Billy Beer. Some of you may remember this product as the brew produced in the name of former President Jimmy Carter's brother Billy. During the days when the peanut farmer from Plains, Georgia occupied the White House, his hillbilly brother was seen as comic relief in a political world that was still a few years away from 24 hour news cycles (how much more would we have seen of him in the current climate?). Billy would pop up in the paper or during the last few minutes of the national evening newscasts every now and then, and putting the name of the notoriously uncouth first brother on a can of suds created an appropriate and humorous political artifact. The six pack in our home collected dust for many years, launching a few nostalgic conversations along the way. It's no longer in the family home and I don't know where it ended up.

I bring up this brew at the current time after watching/reading the news over the last two weeks and observing what may be the Billy Beer-like items for this year's election. Elections create artifacts that, depending on the ultimate significance of the politician involved, may have some pop culture significance in the years to come. Many are unique pieces of campaign advertising, while some are just downright silly items that caught on briefly for dubious reasons.

But remember that some guy went to work one day back in the 1950's and scribbled the phrase "I Like Ike" as a possible campaign slogan. I'm sure it seemed simple and obvious at the time. So obvious, perhaps, that one might have been tempted to think little of it at the time. Yet, it is arguably the most memorable campaign slogan in America and the buttons that sport it are valued collectibles.

Will there be such a collectible from the current election? Will there at least be some item that is funny for us to talk about in years to come? Two items came to mind for me during the last few weeks...the action figures created in the image of republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin, and the designer eye glass frames worn by her these days on the campaign trail.

The action figures are certainly not unprecedented. Our current president was the model for one when he gave his infamous Mission Accomplished speech on an aircraft carrier early in the current war (ask Keith Olberman for the exact number of days that have passed since then). Considering what a horrific blunder that speech was, the GI Joe version of Bush in a flight suit is probably hidden from view in the homes of even his most enthusiastic supporters. You would have to be an absolute rat-bastard idiot to brag about that sad day in American politics. But then again, the man was elected twice. So some fool who actually believes that Bush was at some point a fighter pilot probably displays one proudly on his mantle.

Palin's action figure seems slightly more appropriate for a couple of reasons. First off, it isn't related to a specific and potentially ill-fated event (other than perhaps her very presence on the ticket, depending on your beliefs). Palin in a business suit is much easier to stomach than Bush in a flight suit. The Bush action figure had a distinct vibe all to itself. It's existence was sort of like making an action figure of your child from those 4th of July holidays from yesteryear, when the little bugger got to put on a helmet and climb on to the local firetruck for the snapping of family photos. The big difference, of course, is that you would have sent your kid to his room if he tried to start an unnecessary war with the Muslim kids across town.

The very word "action" related to a Palin doll seems a bit more appropriate. She has, in her forty plus years, led a life pulled from the pages of Field & Stream, tromping through the wilderness pursuing all sorts of fin and fur-covered critters. Pull the string on the back of a Bush action figure and it pisses away the good will of the entire world. A younger version snorts coke while overseeing the demise of start-up petroleum companies.

Now, aside from the business-like Palin doll, I have also seen a superhero version and another that features the Alaska governor wearing what appears to be a catholic school girl uniform. Portraying her as a superhero seems a bit premature, regardless of her hunting and fishing skills or the impression she has made on bill O'Reilly. But remember that giving her a greatly extended standing ovation prior to her convention speech,, when she had never so much as given one nationally televised address, seemed like running the flag up way to early as well. Obama was accused of rock star status in early McCain adds, but Palin was greeted on her first day on the main stage like U2 from some parallel universe where Bono hangs out at Bass Pro Shops.

The school girl Palin doll is a whole other thing. I've heard the word "sexism" more times in the last couple of weeks than I have in years. But oddly enough, it is coming from a group of people who didn't seem to know the meaning of it until recently. However, I haven't read anything yet that accuses the makers of the school girl Palin doll of objectifying the VP candidate. Strange days, indeed.

The aforementioned sudden popularity of Palin's eye glasses, something that has been documented in the press this past week, also deserves consideration. The Kazuo Kawasaki model number 704 frames ($375.00 retail) are jumping off the shelves in stores around the country, having been described as "sophisticated, but with an edge". I find this to be bizarre on a pretty grand scale. Consider that everyone who sees a person in these glasses will know exactly who inspired the wearer to purchase them. In this sense, they are like political parachute pants, with Palin serving as MC Hammer for 2008.

But remember that glasses have plenty to do with the overall appearance of a person. Wearing these frames is not the same thing as putting on the tie that you saw John McCain wearing during his speech. Think about it...if I said "John Lennon glasses", would you know what I was talking about? Sure you would. So do you, frame number 704 purchaser, want to seem like you are following the tips of that noted fashionista Sarah Palin, or do you want to seem like a maverick? Hell, why not just get a "mission accomplished" tattoo?

Okay, so this completes entry number one for my blog. Tune in again soon. I'll try to amp down the fluff content in future entries.