National League Matchups
Dodgers vs. Cubs- Chicago has a significant edge in terms of pitching and hitting, as well as home field advantage with a group of rabid fans who think this may finally be their year. It is possible that Manny Ramirez could continue the hitting rampage he started when he came to L.A., and that might be enough for the Dodgers to slip past the Cubs. But I don't think so. Chicago just has too many weapons. Cubs in 4
Brewers vs. Phillies- The very presence of the Brewers in the playoffs is a great story. After so many years of frustration, a close call last year, a manager change in the last two weeks of this season, and clutch performances from the most overworked ace in the league, Milwaukee is in for the first time since 1982. And I'm afraid the satisfaction of just getting there will have to be enough. The Phillies have built a quality squad that will likely be very competitive for a while to come. They have great depth in terms of power and run production, the front end of the rotation is solid, and nobody this year has gotten past closer Brad Lidge. Phillies in 3
American League Matchups
White Sox vs. Rays- If any team's story is nearly as compelling as that of the Brewers, it would be the Rays. Ever since they entered the league in 1998, the Rays have been godawful. Every now and then in professional sports, you see an expansion team find success not long after they enter the league. Not the Rays. It took a while. But after doing one thing well for the last few years...drafting talent...everything came together this year. Led by certain AL Manager of the Year Joe Maddon, the success of the Rays has been a true feel good story. On the other side of things I think it took everything the White Sox had this season just to get into the playoffs, especially after yesterday's one-game playoff with the Twins. The Rays are rested and have the home field, where they have been as good as anyone in the league. Rays in 4
Red Sox vs. Angels- After two World Series wins in the last few years, the Red Sox are baseball's current elite postseason club. But the Angels dominated their division on the way to 100 wins and have tremendous balance all over their roster. Manager Mike Scioscia may be the very best in the game at this point, and his teams play great fundamental baseball. The Sox don't have Manny anymore, and Big Papi has had an off year by his standards. Still, they won't give up easy. Angels in 5
National League Championship Series
Phillies vs. Cubs- These two teams have fairly comparable lineups, though Ryan Howard is obviously a potential difference maker at the plate. But I give the edge to the Cubs based on starting pitching, home field advantage and the intangible of needing to break the curse of so many years without a championship. Can you imagine the party on the north side when the Cubs clinch a spot in the World Series? Cubs in 6
American League Championship Series
Rays vs. Angels- I'm going to make the comparison of the Rays to the 1991 Braves as a team that finished last one season and first the next, filled the field and won with home grown talent, and gave an inspired performance that was the talk of baseball throughout the year. There are so many reasons to pick the Angels, but I just think that the Rays have the extra thing going for them that the Braves had that year. Rays in 6
World Series
Cubs vs. Rays- Tampa is a small media market, but the ratings for this matchup will be huge thanks to the national following of Chicago. Cubs fans will throw a party in the streets that will be epic. The city will come to a standstill. The Rays have home field advantage thanks to the silly All Star game rule, and that will get them a couple of games. But the curse will be broken this year, Cubs fans. Chicago has four starting pitchers that they can send out very confidently, which no other club can claim. Cubs closer Kerry Wood is going to be a hero in this one, and look for Aramis Ramirez to swing a hot bat. Like the aforementioned Braves team from 1991, the Rays will have to settle for second best. Cubs in 6
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
The Most Anticipated Debate in Modern US Political History
I consider myself to be a person who has followed presidential elections pretty closely throughout my adult life. Maybe not Jeff Greenfield close. But more than, say, the jackass I once saw in Hopkinsville, Kentucky who had a bumper sticker on the tailgate of his truck for the local labor union right next to one touting the reelection of Bush/Cheney.
Let me put it another way; I didn't just vote for Walter Mondale and Geraldine Ferraro a few months after I turned 18, I actually went to hear Mondale's wife give a speech on the steps of the courthouse in my college town just a month prior to her husband's catastrophic loss to Ronald Reagan. Listening to the wife of one of the least charismatic and most soundly defeated politicians in history give a speech is like asking for World Series quotes from the guy who mopped the locker room for the 1998 Padres.
And so it is with at least a moderate amount of time in my life wasted on viewing the presidential election process that I make the following declaration...this Thursday's debate between democratic vice presidential candidate Joe Biden and republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin is the most anticipated political debate in modern US history.
Yep, hands down. Most anticipated ever. Presidents. Vice presidents. Name whatever office you like. Bill Clinton could debate the ghost of JFK over who got the most tail, and I'm not sure it would be watched as closely as what is scheduled for this Thursday night.
But these are the vice presidential candidates, you say. How could this be the main event? True, history would indicate that the debate between two people seeking a job that involves going to lots of state funerals shouldn't be too thrilling. And one could argue that there have only been only two mildly memorable events in the history of televised vice presidential debates:
1. In 1988, Senator Lloyd Bensten tells Vice President Dan Quayle that he is "no Jack Kennedy", in one of the greatest understatements and most bastardized quotes in history.
2. Retired Admiral James Stockdale, running mate of third party candidate Ross Perot, makes the aforementioned Quayle and Senator Al Gore seem brilliant, as he looks confused, fumbles with his hearing aid and asks "Why am I here?" during the 1992 debate.
So maybe we would all be hoping for, at best, some memorable quote if this debate came down to one between Joe Biden and some boring conservative blowhard like Mitt Romney. Perhaps the loose-lipped Biden would break the ice by telling BYU grad Romney that Wall Street is broker than a polygamist on Mother's Day.
But compared to what we actually may hear, such a joke or gaffe would amount to a minor footnote. Instead, we get what looks to be television magic this Thursday night in the form of Alaska Governor Sarah Palin.
When I talk about the anticipation level here, it is all about Palin. The politically inexperienced governor, who has managed in barely a month in the spotlight to utter one infamously inexplicable quote after another, will step to the stage that evening with an overwhelming number of voters and pundits expecting nothing short of disaster. Palin's shockingly uninformed performances in interviews with Katie Couric and Charles Gibson likely have only her most blindly devoted supporters believing in any sort of positive outcome.
To speculate about exactly what sort of verbal blunders Palin will treat us to is wasted effort. You could have racked your brain for days and never come up with what she has already given us. That is why so many of people can't wait for this to unfold.
The McCain team has Palin at one of the Arizona senator's homes for a "debate camp" this week, in anticipation of a performance that could be the death nail for a campaign that already appears as though it has gone in the tank. While "debate camp" might sound like something where campaign aids are stealing Palin's underwear and freezing it for laughs, the stakes are actually quite high. Palin's recent performances have come as the McCain team has behaved in an erratic and bizarre way during the current financial crisis. A memorably bad performance by Palin is very likely more than the McCain team can possibly overcome.
Noted conservative columnists are saying that Palin has no longer has any business on the ticket, and commentators are speculating about who would replace her if the McCain campaign were to wise up and seek a more qualified VP candidate. But it would be a shocking thing to see Palin removed at this point. If she were to leave "to spend more time with her newborn child", it would be a lie so transparent that the damage already caused by her presence would be amplified and the entire McCain team would look thoroughly incompetent. Even a "maverick" who does the unexpected would stun the political world by admitting this huge mistake.
So instead, we'll get to settle down in front of the tube Thursday night giddy with the thought that Palin will say a plethora of things that are fodder for the next Tina Fey skit. The smart money says that the writers at Saturday Night Live will have trouble narrowing it down to which ridiculous Palinisms they include. I told family members this today and I fully expect it to be true; You will remember where you were this coming Thursday night for years to come.
Let me put it another way; I didn't just vote for Walter Mondale and Geraldine Ferraro a few months after I turned 18, I actually went to hear Mondale's wife give a speech on the steps of the courthouse in my college town just a month prior to her husband's catastrophic loss to Ronald Reagan. Listening to the wife of one of the least charismatic and most soundly defeated politicians in history give a speech is like asking for World Series quotes from the guy who mopped the locker room for the 1998 Padres.
And so it is with at least a moderate amount of time in my life wasted on viewing the presidential election process that I make the following declaration...this Thursday's debate between democratic vice presidential candidate Joe Biden and republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin is the most anticipated political debate in modern US history.
Yep, hands down. Most anticipated ever. Presidents. Vice presidents. Name whatever office you like. Bill Clinton could debate the ghost of JFK over who got the most tail, and I'm not sure it would be watched as closely as what is scheduled for this Thursday night.
But these are the vice presidential candidates, you say. How could this be the main event? True, history would indicate that the debate between two people seeking a job that involves going to lots of state funerals shouldn't be too thrilling. And one could argue that there have only been only two mildly memorable events in the history of televised vice presidential debates:
1. In 1988, Senator Lloyd Bensten tells Vice President Dan Quayle that he is "no Jack Kennedy", in one of the greatest understatements and most bastardized quotes in history.
2. Retired Admiral James Stockdale, running mate of third party candidate Ross Perot, makes the aforementioned Quayle and Senator Al Gore seem brilliant, as he looks confused, fumbles with his hearing aid and asks "Why am I here?" during the 1992 debate.
So maybe we would all be hoping for, at best, some memorable quote if this debate came down to one between Joe Biden and some boring conservative blowhard like Mitt Romney. Perhaps the loose-lipped Biden would break the ice by telling BYU grad Romney that Wall Street is broker than a polygamist on Mother's Day.
But compared to what we actually may hear, such a joke or gaffe would amount to a minor footnote. Instead, we get what looks to be television magic this Thursday night in the form of Alaska Governor Sarah Palin.
When I talk about the anticipation level here, it is all about Palin. The politically inexperienced governor, who has managed in barely a month in the spotlight to utter one infamously inexplicable quote after another, will step to the stage that evening with an overwhelming number of voters and pundits expecting nothing short of disaster. Palin's shockingly uninformed performances in interviews with Katie Couric and Charles Gibson likely have only her most blindly devoted supporters believing in any sort of positive outcome.
To speculate about exactly what sort of verbal blunders Palin will treat us to is wasted effort. You could have racked your brain for days and never come up with what she has already given us. That is why so many of people can't wait for this to unfold.
The McCain team has Palin at one of the Arizona senator's homes for a "debate camp" this week, in anticipation of a performance that could be the death nail for a campaign that already appears as though it has gone in the tank. While "debate camp" might sound like something where campaign aids are stealing Palin's underwear and freezing it for laughs, the stakes are actually quite high. Palin's recent performances have come as the McCain team has behaved in an erratic and bizarre way during the current financial crisis. A memorably bad performance by Palin is very likely more than the McCain team can possibly overcome.
Noted conservative columnists are saying that Palin has no longer has any business on the ticket, and commentators are speculating about who would replace her if the McCain campaign were to wise up and seek a more qualified VP candidate. But it would be a shocking thing to see Palin removed at this point. If she were to leave "to spend more time with her newborn child", it would be a lie so transparent that the damage already caused by her presence would be amplified and the entire McCain team would look thoroughly incompetent. Even a "maverick" who does the unexpected would stun the political world by admitting this huge mistake.
So instead, we'll get to settle down in front of the tube Thursday night giddy with the thought that Palin will say a plethora of things that are fodder for the next Tina Fey skit. The smart money says that the writers at Saturday Night Live will have trouble narrowing it down to which ridiculous Palinisms they include. I told family members this today and I fully expect it to be true; You will remember where you were this coming Thursday night for years to come.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
What Would Henry Burton Do?
While I'm watching the current presidential campaign unfold, I can't help but think sometimes of Henry Burton, the fictional worker for a fictional Jack Stanton campaign in the Joe Klein novel Primary Colors.
You've probably either read the book, seen the movie, or are at least aware of the subject matter. If so, you know that Burton's work on the Stanton campaign in the world of fiction is said to be based on the work of George Stephanopoulos during the 1992 Bill Clinton run for the White House. Henry Burton is a good and decent guy who is thrust into the world of bigtime politics because he gets the impression that Stanton, unlike so many other politicians, genuinely cares about the common man and will work for the best interests of such people. Burton's journey through an ultimately victorious national campaign leaves him feeling confused, compromised and disheartened. You can't help but like Henry, and you feel for him throughout the conflict he faces.
With everything that has happened to the John McCain team in the last few weeks, I'm picturing a Burton-like presence out there on the campaign trail somewhere. This person got onboard for similar reasons. They saw the war hero who lived through the hell of a POW experience and then served his country once again in the US senate. McCain seemed kindly and devoted to our young go-getter, a man worthy of working long hours for in hopes of his victory. And so our committed campaign worker threw himself head-first into a ride on the Straight Talk Express.
I'm going to speculate what the last few weeks have been like for this person, and since the fictional Henry Burton, played by actor Adrian Lester in the film version, is a familiar image, you may want to use him in your head as things here play out. Of course, Lester is black and the McCain campaign is whiter than a bridal gown sale at Filene's Basement, so who you picture is up to you.
The Palin Announcement- Henry has spent the summer working tirelessly, getting very little sleep in his hotel rooms, but remaining committed. He watched the democrats in Denver each night with members of the McCain team, and joined them in speculating about how easy they will be to defeat in November. With the democrats reaching their finale, Henry watches Barak Obama address 80,000 wildly enthusiastic fans in a football stadium. "Holy Shit", he exclaims as the crowd on television responds like nothing he has ever seen in any political race in his life. Looking around the room to see everyone staring at him, he stammers, "I mean, uhm, holy shit, what an asshole that guy is." Quietly in his room that night, Henry wonders what his campaign can do to compete with the spectacle he has just watched on television.
But Senator McCain is announcing his VP choice tomorrow. Henry heard loud conversations coming from behind closed doors earlier that week with the name "Lieberman" said many times loudly by the senator. The former VP candidate for the democrats is coming on board for the republicans, and Henry thinks that this non-partisan move will be seen as one of the boldest moves ever in presidential politics.
The next day, the senator steps to the podium to announce that Sarah Palin is his choice. "Who", Henry says with a look of deep confusion on his face.
Team members tell Henry how he and everyone else should be thrilled to have such a "maverick" and true conservative on the ticket with McCain. He listens to Palin talk, but is still stunned. That night in his room, he fires up his laptop and begins to research Palin. For the first time on the road that summer, Henry begins to survey the contents of the mini-bar in his hotel room.
The Convention- After a painful hangover makes the bus ride to St. Paul a living nightmare, Henry gets it together for the pageantry of the convention. Palin, who has never given a national speech in her career and is largely unknown, gets a standing ovation that causes delays on the television broadcasts. Henry's brow begins to crinkle. Palin then makes remarks that belittle the work of community organizers. Henry held a very similar position back in his home town after college. He can suddenly taste the burning feeling that the bottle of vodka back in his room will provide later that night.
Palin Talks to Gibson- While the campaign has scrambled to deal with a number of "attacks from the liberal press" pertaining to Palin, the team has marched forward. And when an evil member of the press is finally allowed access to their exciting vp candidate, anticipation is running high. Henry and his co-workers gather in their hotel room to watch ABC's Charles Gibson interview Palin. Strangely, during a segment when Palin is exaplaining to Gibson how her state is only 51 miles from Russia, Henry violently chokes on his room service meal, forcing a fellow campaign worker to perform the heimlich maneuver on him. Henry is fine afterwards, but later that night the person in the room next to him keeps hearing the phrase "Stop calling him Charlie" over and over.
Economic Catastrophe- Henry had spent the weekend contributing to a speech that the senator was to give, and listens proudly as he claims that the basic elements of the American economy are very solid. Later, as the McCain team is gathered around the television watching the reporting of huge Wall Street firms folding, someone notices that Henry is mising. Wanting his optimism and his help on putting a positive spin on these events for the campaign, they dispatch a young worker to Henry's room. Their phone soon rings, and the young worker has a question. "Henry's not moving, and what are absinthe and Vicodin", he asks.
Okay, so our Henry probably doesn't have it that bad. But things have been pretty disastrous for McCain over the last few weeks. The convention bounce and the ignorant bliss over Palin have been the only sources of optimism, but they went away in a hurry. And somewhere out on the road, there is likely a guy who is accepting his daily talking points with a forced smile and wondering how much worse it can get. He cringes everytime that Palin opens her mouth and knows full well why reporters are not allowed access. He heard about the suspension of the campaign, but knew that there were no altruistic or patriotic motives behind it. He delivers messages that he can no longer bring himself to question, because any serious analysis is too painful. His optimism is gone. He no longer speculates about the high-paying job in D.C. come January, because he will likely be e-mailing resumes out on November 5.
I truly do feel for this guy, whoever he is. I can only imagine how difficult each day has been recently, and I'm sure he'll have a huge meltdown when it's all over. That said, I still hope his candidate goes down in flames.
You've probably either read the book, seen the movie, or are at least aware of the subject matter. If so, you know that Burton's work on the Stanton campaign in the world of fiction is said to be based on the work of George Stephanopoulos during the 1992 Bill Clinton run for the White House. Henry Burton is a good and decent guy who is thrust into the world of bigtime politics because he gets the impression that Stanton, unlike so many other politicians, genuinely cares about the common man and will work for the best interests of such people. Burton's journey through an ultimately victorious national campaign leaves him feeling confused, compromised and disheartened. You can't help but like Henry, and you feel for him throughout the conflict he faces.
With everything that has happened to the John McCain team in the last few weeks, I'm picturing a Burton-like presence out there on the campaign trail somewhere. This person got onboard for similar reasons. They saw the war hero who lived through the hell of a POW experience and then served his country once again in the US senate. McCain seemed kindly and devoted to our young go-getter, a man worthy of working long hours for in hopes of his victory. And so our committed campaign worker threw himself head-first into a ride on the Straight Talk Express.
I'm going to speculate what the last few weeks have been like for this person, and since the fictional Henry Burton, played by actor Adrian Lester in the film version, is a familiar image, you may want to use him in your head as things here play out. Of course, Lester is black and the McCain campaign is whiter than a bridal gown sale at Filene's Basement, so who you picture is up to you.
The Palin Announcement- Henry has spent the summer working tirelessly, getting very little sleep in his hotel rooms, but remaining committed. He watched the democrats in Denver each night with members of the McCain team, and joined them in speculating about how easy they will be to defeat in November. With the democrats reaching their finale, Henry watches Barak Obama address 80,000 wildly enthusiastic fans in a football stadium. "Holy Shit", he exclaims as the crowd on television responds like nothing he has ever seen in any political race in his life. Looking around the room to see everyone staring at him, he stammers, "I mean, uhm, holy shit, what an asshole that guy is." Quietly in his room that night, Henry wonders what his campaign can do to compete with the spectacle he has just watched on television.
But Senator McCain is announcing his VP choice tomorrow. Henry heard loud conversations coming from behind closed doors earlier that week with the name "Lieberman" said many times loudly by the senator. The former VP candidate for the democrats is coming on board for the republicans, and Henry thinks that this non-partisan move will be seen as one of the boldest moves ever in presidential politics.
The next day, the senator steps to the podium to announce that Sarah Palin is his choice. "Who", Henry says with a look of deep confusion on his face.
Team members tell Henry how he and everyone else should be thrilled to have such a "maverick" and true conservative on the ticket with McCain. He listens to Palin talk, but is still stunned. That night in his room, he fires up his laptop and begins to research Palin. For the first time on the road that summer, Henry begins to survey the contents of the mini-bar in his hotel room.
The Convention- After a painful hangover makes the bus ride to St. Paul a living nightmare, Henry gets it together for the pageantry of the convention. Palin, who has never given a national speech in her career and is largely unknown, gets a standing ovation that causes delays on the television broadcasts. Henry's brow begins to crinkle. Palin then makes remarks that belittle the work of community organizers. Henry held a very similar position back in his home town after college. He can suddenly taste the burning feeling that the bottle of vodka back in his room will provide later that night.
Palin Talks to Gibson- While the campaign has scrambled to deal with a number of "attacks from the liberal press" pertaining to Palin, the team has marched forward. And when an evil member of the press is finally allowed access to their exciting vp candidate, anticipation is running high. Henry and his co-workers gather in their hotel room to watch ABC's Charles Gibson interview Palin. Strangely, during a segment when Palin is exaplaining to Gibson how her state is only 51 miles from Russia, Henry violently chokes on his room service meal, forcing a fellow campaign worker to perform the heimlich maneuver on him. Henry is fine afterwards, but later that night the person in the room next to him keeps hearing the phrase "Stop calling him Charlie" over and over.
Economic Catastrophe- Henry had spent the weekend contributing to a speech that the senator was to give, and listens proudly as he claims that the basic elements of the American economy are very solid. Later, as the McCain team is gathered around the television watching the reporting of huge Wall Street firms folding, someone notices that Henry is mising. Wanting his optimism and his help on putting a positive spin on these events for the campaign, they dispatch a young worker to Henry's room. Their phone soon rings, and the young worker has a question. "Henry's not moving, and what are absinthe and Vicodin", he asks.
Okay, so our Henry probably doesn't have it that bad. But things have been pretty disastrous for McCain over the last few weeks. The convention bounce and the ignorant bliss over Palin have been the only sources of optimism, but they went away in a hurry. And somewhere out on the road, there is likely a guy who is accepting his daily talking points with a forced smile and wondering how much worse it can get. He cringes everytime that Palin opens her mouth and knows full well why reporters are not allowed access. He heard about the suspension of the campaign, but knew that there were no altruistic or patriotic motives behind it. He delivers messages that he can no longer bring himself to question, because any serious analysis is too painful. His optimism is gone. He no longer speculates about the high-paying job in D.C. come January, because he will likely be e-mailing resumes out on November 5.
I truly do feel for this guy, whoever he is. I can only imagine how difficult each day has been recently, and I'm sure he'll have a huge meltdown when it's all over. That said, I still hope his candidate goes down in flames.
College Football: Who's Number One?
The day after USC demolished Ohio State 35-3 in the so-called college football game of the year earlier this month, a sportswriter wrote that all of us as college football fans knew who one of the teams in the BCS Championship game in January would be, and that the rest of the season was just a matter of everyone playing to decide who would get to meet USC. Well, turns out that USC fans should find that guy tonight and ring his neck with his mouse cable.
Just being associated with such a statement is bad karma. And tonight, after USC lost to Oregon State 27-21, sports writers all over the country, many of whom made similar statements, are having to eat their words. After USC, led by QB Mark "Dirty" Sanchez and a host of stud skill players, pounded Virginia and Ohio State, they were anointed by scribes everywhere. But one loss to the Beavers, and the Trojans now must take their place behind a handful of unbeaten teams and hope that all of them slip up along the way.
So who will play in the BCS Championship game? It's a safe bet to figure on whichever team wins the SEC championship game taking on the winner of the Big 12 championship. Perhaps Oklahoma versus Florida? How about Georgia taking on Heisman front runner Chase Daniel and Missouri? Can Alabama get into the mix (full disclosure...I'm a Bama alum)? If all of these teams lose at least once, can USC get back in the mix? If Oregon State proved anything tonight, it's that writers are better off not predicting any lead pipe locks this year.
Just being associated with such a statement is bad karma. And tonight, after USC lost to Oregon State 27-21, sports writers all over the country, many of whom made similar statements, are having to eat their words. After USC, led by QB Mark "Dirty" Sanchez and a host of stud skill players, pounded Virginia and Ohio State, they were anointed by scribes everywhere. But one loss to the Beavers, and the Trojans now must take their place behind a handful of unbeaten teams and hope that all of them slip up along the way.
So who will play in the BCS Championship game? It's a safe bet to figure on whichever team wins the SEC championship game taking on the winner of the Big 12 championship. Perhaps Oklahoma versus Florida? How about Georgia taking on Heisman front runner Chase Daniel and Missouri? Can Alabama get into the mix (full disclosure...I'm a Bama alum)? If all of these teams lose at least once, can USC get back in the mix? If Oregon State proved anything tonight, it's that writers are better off not predicting any lead pipe locks this year.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Stuff You Might Have Missed...9-23-08
As you can tell, I don't go for the two or three sentence postings that a lot of people seem to use in this format. But events worth commenting on start to pile up, and so I will periodically offer my thoughts on Stuff You Might Have Missed...
*Actor Robert Wagner recently admitted in his memoir to having had an affair with actress Barbara Stanwyck on the set of the film Titanic in 1953. Wagner was 22 and Stanwyk was 45. The affair was kept a secret, which robbed Eddie Cantor, host at the time of NBC's Colgate Comedy Hour, of telling the first on camera "cougar" joke.
* Singer/songwriter Jackson Browne, an artist I have admired for decades, is taking a stand that is worth celebrating. He filed a lawsuit last month against the republican party and John McCain because they used Browne's song "Running On Empty" in a commercial that attempted to discredit democratic candidate Barak Obama's energy policy. Browne is to be applauded. Songs are intellectual properties in this country and are protected by copyright laws. Browne, as the author of the song, is owed royalties any time it is used for commerical purposes. But more than that, Browne should have complete control of the use of his song in the first place, and he doesn't like McCain as a candidate. I'm glad he had the courage to stand up to the GOP so that his music will not be used against his will. I would write moreon this, but I'm about to watch an online pirated copy of Pineapple Express shot last week on a stolen video camera from the back row of a theater in Juarez. Sweet!!
* Actress Julianne Moore stars in a movie this fall called Blindness which has a rather interesting premise. When an epedemic strikes a city and leaves all of the inhabitants blind, Moore is the last person who is left with sight. The blindness came as a result of sinister activities and Moore leads the blind inhabitants of the city against those responsible. Could be fascinating or awful, depedning on the script (I would tend to give Moore and co-star Mark Ruffalo the benefit of the doubt). But whether it is a good flick or not, I'll be reading www.rottentomatoes.com in the coming weeks to see which movie critic is the first jackass to call it "must-see filmmaking".
*General David Petraeus, the guy who ran the show in Iraq while "the surge" lowered the rate of violence there, is being promoted to a position in the millitary that gives him authority over, among other places, Afghanistan. A few of you may remember this country as the one that we half-heartedly attacked back in 2001 due to their role in the terrorist events of 9/11. In the years that have passed since that sad attempt at retaliation that has yet to result in the capture of Osama Bin Laden, Petraeus seems to be the first leader who has shown overall competence in leading our efforts to decimate Iraq, a country that even President Bush has admitted had nothing to do with 9/11. So my question is this; If Petraeus is such a frigging genius, why wasn't he running the show in Afghanistan a long time ago? Had he been there, we might have already captured Bin Laden and kept the terrorist elements of the country that we claimed to have defeated years ago from making their current comeback. We might also have avoided the accidental killings of 321 Afghani civilians during 2007 (according to Human Rights Watch), fatal mistakes that will no doubt fill local terrorists with a whole new level of hatred for the United States.
*Bill Clinton weighed in on Sarah Palin today, saying, "I get why she's hot out there." I now understand just how powerful the economic bailout story is, because I have yet to hear one comedian or pundit make a single joke about this statement from the former First Poon Hound.
*Former American Idol runner up Clay Aiken reveals in the new issue of People magazine that he is gay. A frenzied press is flocking to the home of a blind nine-year-old "Claymate" (show biz slang for Aiken's fans), as she is the only person in America to react with surprise to the story.
* The New York Yankees were officially eliminated from the playoffs today, marking the first time since 1993 that the Yanks have not been a part of baseball's postseason. They will sit at home this October while the Tampa Bay Rays try to slug and pitch their way to a World Series championship. The Yankees fielded a team this year with a payroll of $209 million, while the Rays checked in with a bargain roster at just under $44 million. I'm sure there is some sort of brilliant financial analogy that can be made that compares the demise of the Yankees and the financial disaster in our nation in recent weeks. Maybe it has something to do with the Yankees being AIG, while the Rays are that State Farm guy with his name on the office door in town who wears short sleeves with a tie and constantly bugs you about adding to your term life policy. And if that isn't good enough I don't care, because the Yankees and all of their fans can suck it!!
*Actor Robert Wagner recently admitted in his memoir to having had an affair with actress Barbara Stanwyck on the set of the film Titanic in 1953. Wagner was 22 and Stanwyk was 45. The affair was kept a secret, which robbed Eddie Cantor, host at the time of NBC's Colgate Comedy Hour, of telling the first on camera "cougar" joke.
* Singer/songwriter Jackson Browne, an artist I have admired for decades, is taking a stand that is worth celebrating. He filed a lawsuit last month against the republican party and John McCain because they used Browne's song "Running On Empty" in a commercial that attempted to discredit democratic candidate Barak Obama's energy policy. Browne is to be applauded. Songs are intellectual properties in this country and are protected by copyright laws. Browne, as the author of the song, is owed royalties any time it is used for commerical purposes. But more than that, Browne should have complete control of the use of his song in the first place, and he doesn't like McCain as a candidate. I'm glad he had the courage to stand up to the GOP so that his music will not be used against his will. I would write moreon this, but I'm about to watch an online pirated copy of Pineapple Express shot last week on a stolen video camera from the back row of a theater in Juarez. Sweet!!
* Actress Julianne Moore stars in a movie this fall called Blindness which has a rather interesting premise. When an epedemic strikes a city and leaves all of the inhabitants blind, Moore is the last person who is left with sight. The blindness came as a result of sinister activities and Moore leads the blind inhabitants of the city against those responsible. Could be fascinating or awful, depedning on the script (I would tend to give Moore and co-star Mark Ruffalo the benefit of the doubt). But whether it is a good flick or not, I'll be reading www.rottentomatoes.com in the coming weeks to see which movie critic is the first jackass to call it "must-see filmmaking".
*General David Petraeus, the guy who ran the show in Iraq while "the surge" lowered the rate of violence there, is being promoted to a position in the millitary that gives him authority over, among other places, Afghanistan. A few of you may remember this country as the one that we half-heartedly attacked back in 2001 due to their role in the terrorist events of 9/11. In the years that have passed since that sad attempt at retaliation that has yet to result in the capture of Osama Bin Laden, Petraeus seems to be the first leader who has shown overall competence in leading our efforts to decimate Iraq, a country that even President Bush has admitted had nothing to do with 9/11. So my question is this; If Petraeus is such a frigging genius, why wasn't he running the show in Afghanistan a long time ago? Had he been there, we might have already captured Bin Laden and kept the terrorist elements of the country that we claimed to have defeated years ago from making their current comeback. We might also have avoided the accidental killings of 321 Afghani civilians during 2007 (according to Human Rights Watch), fatal mistakes that will no doubt fill local terrorists with a whole new level of hatred for the United States.
*Bill Clinton weighed in on Sarah Palin today, saying, "I get why she's hot out there." I now understand just how powerful the economic bailout story is, because I have yet to hear one comedian or pundit make a single joke about this statement from the former First Poon Hound.
*Former American Idol runner up Clay Aiken reveals in the new issue of People magazine that he is gay. A frenzied press is flocking to the home of a blind nine-year-old "Claymate" (show biz slang for Aiken's fans), as she is the only person in America to react with surprise to the story.
* The New York Yankees were officially eliminated from the playoffs today, marking the first time since 1993 that the Yanks have not been a part of baseball's postseason. They will sit at home this October while the Tampa Bay Rays try to slug and pitch their way to a World Series championship. The Yankees fielded a team this year with a payroll of $209 million, while the Rays checked in with a bargain roster at just under $44 million. I'm sure there is some sort of brilliant financial analogy that can be made that compares the demise of the Yankees and the financial disaster in our nation in recent weeks. Maybe it has something to do with the Yankees being AIG, while the Rays are that State Farm guy with his name on the office door in town who wears short sleeves with a tie and constantly bugs you about adding to your term life policy. And if that isn't good enough I don't care, because the Yankees and all of their fans can suck it!!
Monday, September 22, 2008
Is It Funny If It's True?
Next time you have the opportunity, ask an average person you encounter what they think of the election these days. Don't ask about a candidate or any specific subject matter. Just "the election".
Some may bash a specific candidate if they think your beliefs may be similar to theirs. A few may say they are not paying attention to any of it. But my guess is that in polite conversation, their thoughts will go to the political advertising they encounter each evening when they have gotten home and are trying to sink into the couch while the local news or Dancing With The Stars takes their minds off of work. And this being the case, most folks in that conversation will groan and complain about what a bunch of crap it all is.
This sort of advertising is easy to dismiss, though in a perfect world we would pay attention because it would highlight differences between candidates and help us make a more informed decision at the polls...alright, stop laughing. Seriously, stop laughing right now. It's not that funny and you look like you might hurt yourself. Seriously, stop now.
We laugh because the idea of political advertising being genuinely informative is indeed comedic. Political ads are serious examinations of important issues the way that Frank Caliendo's impersonations of George W. Bush are serious commentaries on the last eight years in America.
Now, in the strictest sense, there are two kinds of political ads:
1.) The "what kind of guy/girl I am" ads. These show a montage of images meant to convince you that the candidate is a nice guy, is capable of reproducing with a person of the opposite sex, and has semi-specific virtues such as being "tough on crime".
2.) "The other guy/girl is an asshole" ads. These make wild, often exaggerated claims about the opposing candidate and their actions, proclivities or aquaintances.
Fortunately for all of us, since we are so tired of this advertising, people go to work at television news networks each day and check out the accuracy of such ads when they pertain to candidates on the big stage. So when John McCain runs an ad that claims Barak Obama and a bigwig from Freddie Mac or Fannie Mae have been getting naked and rolling around together in a big pile of money, a person like Rachael Maddow takes it upon herself to say that it is a lie. Likewise, if any of the "nice guy" claims in ads make a candidate out to be more of a model citizen than they actually are, we hear about that as well.
But we'll never be so fortunate on a local or state level. Local news either doesn't have the inclination to debunk such claims, or doesn't want to anger candidates and eliminate potential advertising revenue in the process. And as a result, local political ads make those of the presidential candidates seem positively demure. I'm convinced that these local ads do more to turn people against politics than the national ads ever do.
There are probably a million examples here, but I'll use two from races in Alabama. One from each of the two types of political ads I have previously mentioned.
1. So what kind of guy or girl will the public elect to the supreme court in the state of Alabama?. Well, one thing is for certain; whoever the state elects can blow your damn head off. Republican candidate Greg Shaw and democrat Deborah Bell Paseur have both run type 1 commercials showing them posing with guns. Yep, Paseur and Bell want you to consider their proficiency with a firearm when making your decision. b ut two things occur to me here. First, a supreme court justice in Alabama will presumably not need to shoot anyone at work. And second, the candidates have only so much time and money available for their use in helping voters to form opinions.
The that fact that the gun image is important enough to include in expensive commercial air time for both candidates brings up questions. Would we see two national candidates do something like this? Of course not. You likely wouldn't see either candidate with a gun, unless it had something to do with previous military service. There is too much possibility of being portrayed as pro-violence. And a democrat would have way too much to explain to their own party over such a matter in a national election. All of this makes the case of Paseur seem even more bizarre. A democrat who appears in a commercial with a gun while "Amazing Grace" plays in the background apparently only makes sense in Alabama.
2. Curious portrayals of yourself in state ads is one thing. But it is when the attacks on the opposition begin that things get offensive and downright weird. I offer for example the case of Mike Rogers, a republican running for re-election to congress in Alabama. I could tell you about his claims against his opposition, Joshua Segall, but then you would miss the...well, I'm not even sure what to call the content that makes up a Mike Rogers ad. So just take a look:
http://www.mikerogersforcongress.com/multimedia.html
The two hillbillies leaning against the pickup truck utter "Hollywood" and "New York City" as if they are talking about a gay bath house that opened across the street from their church. They say that Segall is "pro-abortion" rather than pro-choice, because everybody likes choice but nobody in Alabama likes a guy who can be misrepresented as liking the actual medical procedure of abortion. And the word "liberal" in this ad is said with a reaction that people usually reserve for describing animal excrement they discover on their front porch.
There are almost too many things to say in response to Mike Rogers. You could attempt to remind him and his constituents that it was once a liberal belief in this country to think that women and minorities should have equal rights and be able to vote. You might say a guy like Rogers actually practiced restraint when, in an ad that so negatively equates a man named Segall with money from Hollywood and New York, he didn't call his opponent a kike.
But what does all of this matter? Shaw and Paseur are playing on the fears of gun nuts. Rogers and those who vote for him are doing their unintentional best to reinforce negative stereotypes about dirty politics and the closed minded South. And candidates like Rogers are running ads that are just as bad or worse all over the country in pursuit of votes. What's more, since this sort of thing is done on a local level, it goes largely unchecked. The best you can say is that it creates funny content for YouTube. But every time I laugh, I have to remind myself that the candidate responsible for the absurd material may have won. And that's not funny.
Some may bash a specific candidate if they think your beliefs may be similar to theirs. A few may say they are not paying attention to any of it. But my guess is that in polite conversation, their thoughts will go to the political advertising they encounter each evening when they have gotten home and are trying to sink into the couch while the local news or Dancing With The Stars takes their minds off of work. And this being the case, most folks in that conversation will groan and complain about what a bunch of crap it all is.
This sort of advertising is easy to dismiss, though in a perfect world we would pay attention because it would highlight differences between candidates and help us make a more informed decision at the polls...alright, stop laughing. Seriously, stop laughing right now. It's not that funny and you look like you might hurt yourself. Seriously, stop now.
We laugh because the idea of political advertising being genuinely informative is indeed comedic. Political ads are serious examinations of important issues the way that Frank Caliendo's impersonations of George W. Bush are serious commentaries on the last eight years in America.
Now, in the strictest sense, there are two kinds of political ads:
1.) The "what kind of guy/girl I am" ads. These show a montage of images meant to convince you that the candidate is a nice guy, is capable of reproducing with a person of the opposite sex, and has semi-specific virtues such as being "tough on crime".
2.) "The other guy/girl is an asshole" ads. These make wild, often exaggerated claims about the opposing candidate and their actions, proclivities or aquaintances.
Fortunately for all of us, since we are so tired of this advertising, people go to work at television news networks each day and check out the accuracy of such ads when they pertain to candidates on the big stage. So when John McCain runs an ad that claims Barak Obama and a bigwig from Freddie Mac or Fannie Mae have been getting naked and rolling around together in a big pile of money, a person like Rachael Maddow takes it upon herself to say that it is a lie. Likewise, if any of the "nice guy" claims in ads make a candidate out to be more of a model citizen than they actually are, we hear about that as well.
But we'll never be so fortunate on a local or state level. Local news either doesn't have the inclination to debunk such claims, or doesn't want to anger candidates and eliminate potential advertising revenue in the process. And as a result, local political ads make those of the presidential candidates seem positively demure. I'm convinced that these local ads do more to turn people against politics than the national ads ever do.
There are probably a million examples here, but I'll use two from races in Alabama. One from each of the two types of political ads I have previously mentioned.
1. So what kind of guy or girl will the public elect to the supreme court in the state of Alabama?. Well, one thing is for certain; whoever the state elects can blow your damn head off. Republican candidate Greg Shaw and democrat Deborah Bell Paseur have both run type 1 commercials showing them posing with guns. Yep, Paseur and Bell want you to consider their proficiency with a firearm when making your decision. b ut two things occur to me here. First, a supreme court justice in Alabama will presumably not need to shoot anyone at work. And second, the candidates have only so much time and money available for their use in helping voters to form opinions.
The that fact that the gun image is important enough to include in expensive commercial air time for both candidates brings up questions. Would we see two national candidates do something like this? Of course not. You likely wouldn't see either candidate with a gun, unless it had something to do with previous military service. There is too much possibility of being portrayed as pro-violence. And a democrat would have way too much to explain to their own party over such a matter in a national election. All of this makes the case of Paseur seem even more bizarre. A democrat who appears in a commercial with a gun while "Amazing Grace" plays in the background apparently only makes sense in Alabama.
2. Curious portrayals of yourself in state ads is one thing. But it is when the attacks on the opposition begin that things get offensive and downright weird. I offer for example the case of Mike Rogers, a republican running for re-election to congress in Alabama. I could tell you about his claims against his opposition, Joshua Segall, but then you would miss the...well, I'm not even sure what to call the content that makes up a Mike Rogers ad. So just take a look:
http://www.mikerogersforcongress.com/multimedia.html
The two hillbillies leaning against the pickup truck utter "Hollywood" and "New York City" as if they are talking about a gay bath house that opened across the street from their church. They say that Segall is "pro-abortion" rather than pro-choice, because everybody likes choice but nobody in Alabama likes a guy who can be misrepresented as liking the actual medical procedure of abortion. And the word "liberal" in this ad is said with a reaction that people usually reserve for describing animal excrement they discover on their front porch.
There are almost too many things to say in response to Mike Rogers. You could attempt to remind him and his constituents that it was once a liberal belief in this country to think that women and minorities should have equal rights and be able to vote. You might say a guy like Rogers actually practiced restraint when, in an ad that so negatively equates a man named Segall with money from Hollywood and New York, he didn't call his opponent a kike.
But what does all of this matter? Shaw and Paseur are playing on the fears of gun nuts. Rogers and those who vote for him are doing their unintentional best to reinforce negative stereotypes about dirty politics and the closed minded South. And candidates like Rogers are running ads that are just as bad or worse all over the country in pursuit of votes. What's more, since this sort of thing is done on a local level, it goes largely unchecked. The best you can say is that it creates funny content for YouTube. But every time I laugh, I have to remind myself that the candidate responsible for the absurd material may have won. And that's not funny.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Apparently, They Can See Her House Too
In the midst of all of the laughs brought about by Tina Fey's brilliant portrayal of VP candidate Sarah Palin, the clip that has gotten the most play is her line about how Palin can see Russia from her house. It was indeed hilarious, and Fey's delivery is impeccable. But I'm guessing that whoever wrote the joke probably had the biggest smile of anyone afterwards.
A lot of the humor relating to the Alaska governor is pretty obvious. Talk show monologues and the editorial pages of papers are full of moose jokes these days. So I was blown away that the guffaw of the night came on subject matter that was much more subtle. Bravo.
Watching the coverage of Palin in recent weeks, I was astonished that members of her party actually floated the foreign policy through proximity theory shortly after she was named by McCain. I figured it was initially blurted out and immediately regretted for the utter bullshit that it was. Palin's work in Alaska didn't make her an expert on Russia, any more so than the mayor of Key West's participation in the Fantasy Fest parade makes them an authority on Cuban communism. But when Palin actually said herself a few days later that being across the Bering Sea from the former USSR had brought her up to speed, I could do nothing but shake my head.
Still, voters have heard equally astounding claims in this country from people they have subsequently elected. So I wondered if the masses had noticed this nonsense. But Fey seems to have answered that question. Lots of people (and hopefully plenty of them swing voters) noticed and were getting a hearty laugh out of it.
Fast forward to the first post-nomination interview of Palin by ABC's Charles Gibson last week, and more jaw-dropping subject matter about Russia popped up. Just when we were wondering if the word "Charlie" was going to be uttered more times that night than during the entire Tet Offensive, Palin dropped a bombshell. She told Gibson of a circumstance under which war with Russia would be necessary.
Huh?!?!?!?
I won't even bother with talking about how preposterous that statement was. Deaf babies in incubators know it was a dumb thing to say. But once again, was America listening?
We may have to wait until Fey's next appearance as Palin to find out, but you know who was listening? Russia. Guess that whole "war" thing sparked a little interest.
Yep, the big Soviet Bear was all ears when our resident HMILF attempted to stir up a hornet's nest. I know this thanks to the online English version of Pravda, Russia's famous newspaper. The atheist, elitist, woman and baby-hating liberal media in this country may have been accused of crossing the line for asking if Palin was the second most qualified republican in this country to be president. But they come off like Cuddles the Kitten compared to the Russkies.
How bad have the descriptions of Palin been in their press? You are about to find out, and the comments that follow each quote are me, uhm, defending the woman about which our country seems to have so much new found pride.
"Palin- The Devil in Disguise"
First off, it is a pretty expensive disguise. This isn't your $19.95 devil costume from the Halloween section at Party City. The glasses alone are $375.00 if they are in stock, and the suits go for a cool twenty five hundred bucks each. Look for them at a chain store called Small Town Values with locations in places you've never heard of all over America. As for the devil thing, take that up with her pastor at your own risk.
"Mrs. nobody know-it-all shrieking cow from Alaska"
Excuse me, but she was actually first runner up in that pageant. I guess you guys can't spell wikipedia in Russian.
"The joke of American politics"
As hard as this may be to believe for...well, just about anyone, I'm sure we will eventually top her in this category.
"Gossip merchant and cheap little guttersnipe"
As for the gossip thing, her boss doesn't actually let her have conversations with anyone. And guttersnipe season isn't until after Christmas in Alaska, unless you are a bow hunter.
"Pith-headed little bimbo from the back of beyond"
Alaska may be pretty remote and uninhabited, but it has oil. We invade countries to get our hands on that stuff. Try picking on the Dakotas.
"Your country has enough failed mothers as it is"
Uhm, hello...Williow, Frack, Pipecleaner, Twig, and Pistol. She has definitely pulled off the pro-creation thing.
"Keep your mouth shut, and while you are at it tell members of your family to keep their legs shut"
Teen pregnancy rates are ridiculously high in the southeastern United States, an area that traditionally votes republican. So having a knocked up 17 year-old daughter is like throwing an eight state campaign rally.
"A Worthless Bag of Hair"
Ask Crystal down at The Hair Affair how much scratch she's been making since she got the Palin wigs in two weeks ago. And that's good for the economy.
"total ignorance" in regard to the Bush Doctrine
Maybe so. But in fairness to Palin, it's named after a guy who doesn't understand it either.
So take that Russia. Now excuse us as a country while we go drink Scandanavian vodka and try to say the name Putin without laughing.
A lot of the humor relating to the Alaska governor is pretty obvious. Talk show monologues and the editorial pages of papers are full of moose jokes these days. So I was blown away that the guffaw of the night came on subject matter that was much more subtle. Bravo.
Watching the coverage of Palin in recent weeks, I was astonished that members of her party actually floated the foreign policy through proximity theory shortly after she was named by McCain. I figured it was initially blurted out and immediately regretted for the utter bullshit that it was. Palin's work in Alaska didn't make her an expert on Russia, any more so than the mayor of Key West's participation in the Fantasy Fest parade makes them an authority on Cuban communism. But when Palin actually said herself a few days later that being across the Bering Sea from the former USSR had brought her up to speed, I could do nothing but shake my head.
Still, voters have heard equally astounding claims in this country from people they have subsequently elected. So I wondered if the masses had noticed this nonsense. But Fey seems to have answered that question. Lots of people (and hopefully plenty of them swing voters) noticed and were getting a hearty laugh out of it.
Fast forward to the first post-nomination interview of Palin by ABC's Charles Gibson last week, and more jaw-dropping subject matter about Russia popped up. Just when we were wondering if the word "Charlie" was going to be uttered more times that night than during the entire Tet Offensive, Palin dropped a bombshell. She told Gibson of a circumstance under which war with Russia would be necessary.
Huh?!?!?!?
I won't even bother with talking about how preposterous that statement was. Deaf babies in incubators know it was a dumb thing to say. But once again, was America listening?
We may have to wait until Fey's next appearance as Palin to find out, but you know who was listening? Russia. Guess that whole "war" thing sparked a little interest.
Yep, the big Soviet Bear was all ears when our resident HMILF attempted to stir up a hornet's nest. I know this thanks to the online English version of Pravda, Russia's famous newspaper. The atheist, elitist, woman and baby-hating liberal media in this country may have been accused of crossing the line for asking if Palin was the second most qualified republican in this country to be president. But they come off like Cuddles the Kitten compared to the Russkies.
How bad have the descriptions of Palin been in their press? You are about to find out, and the comments that follow each quote are me, uhm, defending the woman about which our country seems to have so much new found pride.
"Palin- The Devil in Disguise"
First off, it is a pretty expensive disguise. This isn't your $19.95 devil costume from the Halloween section at Party City. The glasses alone are $375.00 if they are in stock, and the suits go for a cool twenty five hundred bucks each. Look for them at a chain store called Small Town Values with locations in places you've never heard of all over America. As for the devil thing, take that up with her pastor at your own risk.
"Mrs. nobody know-it-all shrieking cow from Alaska"
Excuse me, but she was actually first runner up in that pageant. I guess you guys can't spell wikipedia in Russian.
"The joke of American politics"
As hard as this may be to believe for...well, just about anyone, I'm sure we will eventually top her in this category.
"Gossip merchant and cheap little guttersnipe"
As for the gossip thing, her boss doesn't actually let her have conversations with anyone. And guttersnipe season isn't until after Christmas in Alaska, unless you are a bow hunter.
"Pith-headed little bimbo from the back of beyond"
Alaska may be pretty remote and uninhabited, but it has oil. We invade countries to get our hands on that stuff. Try picking on the Dakotas.
"Your country has enough failed mothers as it is"
Uhm, hello...Williow, Frack, Pipecleaner, Twig, and Pistol. She has definitely pulled off the pro-creation thing.
"Keep your mouth shut, and while you are at it tell members of your family to keep their legs shut"
Teen pregnancy rates are ridiculously high in the southeastern United States, an area that traditionally votes republican. So having a knocked up 17 year-old daughter is like throwing an eight state campaign rally.
"A Worthless Bag of Hair"
Ask Crystal down at The Hair Affair how much scratch she's been making since she got the Palin wigs in two weeks ago. And that's good for the economy.
"total ignorance" in regard to the Bush Doctrine
Maybe so. But in fairness to Palin, it's named after a guy who doesn't understand it either.
So take that Russia. Now excuse us as a country while we go drink Scandanavian vodka and try to say the name Putin without laughing.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Uppity Waffles
Mark Whitlock and Bob DeMoss of Franklin, Tennessee are seriously sensitive guys. So is Georgia republican representative Lynn Westmoreland. In this new day and age when the republican party has placed such a high value on things like sensitivity to women, they must be thrilled that Whitlock, Demoss and Westmoreland will be pulling the lever for their beloved GOP this November.
In case you missed it, Westmoreland made news in the past week by referring to Barak and Michelle Obama as "uppity", a word that almost anyone capable of drawing breath knows is usually always followed by the "n word" when it is used in reference to an African American. Westmoreland, when called to the carpet for his clearly racist remark, claimed that he had no idea that it could be construed that way.
Whitlock and DeMoss took things a step further. While attending the conservative Value Voter Summit in D.C. last week, they set up in a rented booth and sold "Obama Waffles" mix, which featured stunningly racist depictions of the democratic presidential candidate on the box. One shows Obama in what the Associated Press calls a drawing that "plays off the old image of Aunt Jemima". This drawing features Obama with lips of greatly exaggerated size. If this isn't going far enough, another drawing on the box depicts Obama in an Arab-like headdress, which is an obvious slap at the candidate's name and a reference to false rumors that he is a Muslim. You can also flip it over on the back to see Obama in a sombrero and Hispanic themed clothing with references made to potentially lax immigration policies. Attendees at the Value Voter gathering were able to take time out from hearing speakers like Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich to plop down ten bucks for this veritable flaming cross in a cardboard box.
Just as Westmoreland did with his offensive remark, Whitlock and Demoss played ignorant when it came to any possible offensive overtones from their waffle mix. They even went so far as to defend their product, comparing it to mainstream items that you and I might find at the local Publix.
"You think of Newman's Own or Emeril's- there are tons of personality-branded food products on the market," Whitlock said.
Let me begin my response by saying that the Newman's Own products use Paul Newman's image to market food items that have resulted in the donation of $250 million since 1982 to non-profit organizations. All profits from their sales go directly to charity. Likewise, Chef Emeril Lagasse does a tremendous amount of charitable work and also employs a great many people in his restaurants. Yes, he makes a tidy profit. However, it doesn't come from attempting to humiliate his competition with stereotypes. Can you imagine Emeril boosting sales at Delmonico by making fun of Asians or Hispanics at other restaurant concepts? Needless to say, the comparison here is way out of bounds.
But discrediting the product comparisons made by these two bigots isn't what this is really about. Why? Because any moderately intelligent person doesn't believe their responses any more than they believe those of Representative Westmoreland.
The Obama Waffles creators never meant for them to be marketed as a food product and didn't believe for a second that they actually were similar to anything made by Paul Newman or Emeril Lagasse. And they did know their product would offend plenty of people, just as Westmoreland knew his remark could be construed as inappropriate. How do I know this? Because anyone with the mental capacity to conceive and create a product for public consumption, and/or get elected to congress, does not live in a vacuum. They are aware of racial stereotypes and most common racial slurs. And when these folks claim ignorance, the general public either knows they are lying or supports the rest of their beliefs and is willing to look past their motives.
So, do the actions of a few racist chuckle-heads really matter that much? It's a debatable question, but I think they do. Perhaps because there are plenty of other folks out there who think like the waffles guys. And also because Westmoreland actually participates in government in this country, which should frighten the hell out of all of us.
But their actions are a symptom of a larger problem that is an infuriating thing to witness during this current election. Seeing people attempt to take the high road in order to mask their deplorable words/actions is a pathetic form of cowardice. But in a "have-our-cake-and-eat-it-too" world, people want to have their hateful beliefs, act on them, and then not be perceived in a negative way in the process. In other words, people want to be able to say "uppity" and depict people with racial stereotypes, and yet seem perfectly innocent in doing so. Or another example would be a person who accuses Jamie Lynn Spears of being a slut raised by lousy parents, and then defends Sarah Palin and her family under similar circumstances, ignoring their hypocracy while championing the idea of familial privacy.
But as I said, there are plenty of us who are not stupid. I just hope that on November 4 we outnumber the people who know what is going on, but don't care.
In case you missed it, Westmoreland made news in the past week by referring to Barak and Michelle Obama as "uppity", a word that almost anyone capable of drawing breath knows is usually always followed by the "n word" when it is used in reference to an African American. Westmoreland, when called to the carpet for his clearly racist remark, claimed that he had no idea that it could be construed that way.
Whitlock and DeMoss took things a step further. While attending the conservative Value Voter Summit in D.C. last week, they set up in a rented booth and sold "Obama Waffles" mix, which featured stunningly racist depictions of the democratic presidential candidate on the box. One shows Obama in what the Associated Press calls a drawing that "plays off the old image of Aunt Jemima". This drawing features Obama with lips of greatly exaggerated size. If this isn't going far enough, another drawing on the box depicts Obama in an Arab-like headdress, which is an obvious slap at the candidate's name and a reference to false rumors that he is a Muslim. You can also flip it over on the back to see Obama in a sombrero and Hispanic themed clothing with references made to potentially lax immigration policies. Attendees at the Value Voter gathering were able to take time out from hearing speakers like Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich to plop down ten bucks for this veritable flaming cross in a cardboard box.
Just as Westmoreland did with his offensive remark, Whitlock and Demoss played ignorant when it came to any possible offensive overtones from their waffle mix. They even went so far as to defend their product, comparing it to mainstream items that you and I might find at the local Publix.
"You think of Newman's Own or Emeril's- there are tons of personality-branded food products on the market," Whitlock said.
Let me begin my response by saying that the Newman's Own products use Paul Newman's image to market food items that have resulted in the donation of $250 million since 1982 to non-profit organizations. All profits from their sales go directly to charity. Likewise, Chef Emeril Lagasse does a tremendous amount of charitable work and also employs a great many people in his restaurants. Yes, he makes a tidy profit. However, it doesn't come from attempting to humiliate his competition with stereotypes. Can you imagine Emeril boosting sales at Delmonico by making fun of Asians or Hispanics at other restaurant concepts? Needless to say, the comparison here is way out of bounds.
But discrediting the product comparisons made by these two bigots isn't what this is really about. Why? Because any moderately intelligent person doesn't believe their responses any more than they believe those of Representative Westmoreland.
The Obama Waffles creators never meant for them to be marketed as a food product and didn't believe for a second that they actually were similar to anything made by Paul Newman or Emeril Lagasse. And they did know their product would offend plenty of people, just as Westmoreland knew his remark could be construed as inappropriate. How do I know this? Because anyone with the mental capacity to conceive and create a product for public consumption, and/or get elected to congress, does not live in a vacuum. They are aware of racial stereotypes and most common racial slurs. And when these folks claim ignorance, the general public either knows they are lying or supports the rest of their beliefs and is willing to look past their motives.
So, do the actions of a few racist chuckle-heads really matter that much? It's a debatable question, but I think they do. Perhaps because there are plenty of other folks out there who think like the waffles guys. And also because Westmoreland actually participates in government in this country, which should frighten the hell out of all of us.
But their actions are a symptom of a larger problem that is an infuriating thing to witness during this current election. Seeing people attempt to take the high road in order to mask their deplorable words/actions is a pathetic form of cowardice. But in a "have-our-cake-and-eat-it-too" world, people want to have their hateful beliefs, act on them, and then not be perceived in a negative way in the process. In other words, people want to be able to say "uppity" and depict people with racial stereotypes, and yet seem perfectly innocent in doing so. Or another example would be a person who accuses Jamie Lynn Spears of being a slut raised by lousy parents, and then defends Sarah Palin and her family under similar circumstances, ignoring their hypocracy while championing the idea of familial privacy.
But as I said, there are plenty of us who are not stupid. I just hope that on November 4 we outnumber the people who know what is going on, but don't care.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
QB Class of 2006: The Future is Now for Jay Cutler
Back in the fall of 2005 while I was living in Nashville, our beloved Tennessee Titans were mired in a godawful year that would see them finish with a 4-12 record and a multitude of questions about the future of the franchise. Steve McNair, the quarterback that led the team to within one yard of the Lombardi Trophy in Super Bowl XXXIV in 2000, had limped through the season with a litany of injuries that were piling up to inhuman levels after his many years in the league. He was Wile E. Coyote, and the defenses of the teams from the AFC South were the Acme Corporation. How much more could McNair take, and who would be waiting in the wings when he was done?
Just across town in Music City at the time there was something happening in the world of football that local residents were unprepared for...Vanderbilt University had a pretty decent football team. Vandy would start the season with dramatic wins over Wake Forest and Arkansas, scare the daylights out of perennial Southeastern Conference powerhouse Florida in an overtime loss, and finish with their first win over in-state rival Tennessee since Ronald Reagan was in office. For an egghead school with a history of football ineptitude paired with success in country club sports and women's basketball, the 5-6 record that Vandy posted that fall was cause for celebration.
As the possible end of the line for Steve McNair in Nashville was being pondered by local sports fans, Vanderbilt quarterback Jay Cutler was seeing his stock rise with NFL scouts thanks to his strong showing that fall for the Commodores. There had been seasons when Vanderbilt had seemingly set offensive football back to the days of leather helmets in years past, yet here was Cutler putting up great passing numbers amid speculation that he had moved up to being a possible first round selection. By the time he ended up as the first guy from Vandy in 38 seasons to earn Southeastern Conference Offensive Player of the Year honors, there was a chorus of local sports fans who agreed on one huge thing; we wanted to see Jay Cutler in a Titans uniform.
I was thinking about all of this today as I was watching the final minutes of the game between Denver and San Diego. As Cutler led the Broncos to a dramatic victory over the favored Chargers, memories from the spring of 2006 that involve the former Vanderbilt QB, as well as Vince Young, Matt Leinart, the Tennessee Titans and the Broncos, came to mind.
You see, as the dismal 2005 season for the Titans came to an end and we found out that our team would pick third in the April 2006 NFL draft, quarterback fever struck in Nashville. It seemed as though you could not turn on sports talk radio for even a few minutes without hearing speculation about which top rated signal caller would be coming to town to rescue the Titans. The marquee names were Vine Young of Texas and Matt Leinart of USC, who had just faced each other in an epic Rose Bowl. Young's Longhorns won the game and the national championship, but both men were seen as big time NFL prospects. The name of USC tailback Reggie Bush was tossed around a bit, but we all suspected he would be off the board with the first pick. Anyway, we needed an elite quarterback and either Leinart or Young would be there at number three.
But Cutler's superb senior year across town at Vanderbilt, combined with his excellent daft workouts, now had some scouts ranking him as a top ten pick and a close third to Young and Leinart among available quarterbacks. To those of us who had followed him locally, we were confident he was every bit as good as the two bigger names. Cutler had played for lowly Vandy, yet had put up exceptional numbers while often running for his life behind offensive lines that were often outmatched by the defenses they faced. He was smart, poised and extremely well developed as an athlete and a quarterback. He was going to succeed, and for us it was just a matter of seeing which team was wise enough to choose him.
However, by the time draft day arrived we were pretty sure the Titans were not going to take Cutler. Young and Leinart were still seen as the elite picks with the most upside. Cutler was very good, but was still seen as the third ranked signal caller in the bunch. At least that is what the people paid to forecast the draft were saying.
But I was unfazed. I stood around at Judge Bean's Barbecue, site of Cutler's Nashville draft party, reciting a scenario I had been talking about for weeks. I was certain it would be a winner for our local pro team. Since Cutler was likely to go somewhere between picks 10 and 13, I thought the Titans should trade down a few spots, receiving desperately needed extra picks in the process. They would take Cutler somewhere in the seven to 10 range and then give him an offensive weapon or two with the extra picks from the trade. It made so much sense. Plenty of people agreed with me.
But as you know by now, that didn't happen. The Texans led things off by picking defensive end Mario Williams and the Saints followed with the choice of Reggie Bush. Then the Titans did what many of us had expected by that point when they selected Young to be the QB of the future. Titans team owner Bud Adams lives in Houston. Young had gone to high school in Houston and had brought an NCAA football championship back to the Lone Star State while at the University of Texas. It has been widely assumed that Adams had the final say over Titans scouts on the choice of Young. It was, after all, Adams' money.
Leinart fell a bit in the draft that day, thanks in part to some late doubts about his arm strength and also the fact that the teams picking three through nine either didn't need a quarterback or wanted one other than him. Picking in the 10th spot, the forever snake-bitten Arizona Cardinals franchise took Leinart. Immediately after that pick, Denver head coach Mike Shanahan was said to have called Titans coach Jeff Fisher for a scouting report on Cutler. Fisher says that he told Shanahan he had absolutely no doubts about Cutler, and Denver traded up to the 11 spot to take him. I was sitting at the bar of the barbecue joint in Nashville pounding beers when Cutler's name was announced. When Cutler entered the room to a huge round of applause, I told a friend that he was going to be a huge success in Denver and that all of us in Nashville would likely end up regretting that we hadn't gotten him.
Okay, so fast-forward to the games today, and there was Cutler doing exactly what many of us in Nashville figured he would do...playing as an elite level NFL quarterback for Denver. After San Diego scored to take the lead with less than five minutes to go, Denver's chances of winning were in Cutler's hands. Legendary Denver quarterback John Elway, the man whose legacy Cutler has had to live up to, made a name for himself with game-winning drives as time was running out. Today was Cutler's chance to show he can do the same thing. The Chargers have been picked by many to win the AFC, and they had roared back from a 14 point halftime deficit to take the lead. What did Cutler do? He calmly led his team down the field for what appeared to be the game tying touchdown. But after his scoring pass to rookie Eddie Royal, Shanahan, demonstrating his confidence in his signal caller, sent his offense back out for a two point conversion attempt that was literally a win/lose choice. Cutler found Royal again, this time in heavy coverage. Denver 39, San Diego 38. Final.
So where were Young and Leinart today?
Vince Young- All of us in Nashville told ourselves that we were getting the guy who beat USC, and that his style of play, unorthodox by NFL standards, could be molded with proper coaching. Yes, he seemed to want to run the ball right away if the first receiver in his progression was covered, and his throwing motion was a bit odd. But the guy was a winner, we said, and that is all that matters. And after his first year, when he was named the league's top offensive rookie, we believed that the sky was the limit. However, Young's second year in the league showed signs of serious regression. When he ran, he wasn't nearly as effective as he had been in college or as a rookie. And his accuracy was atrocious, with over-throws and interceptions happening far too often. Also, the red zone offense with him at the controls was woeful. Were it not for an improved defense, the team would likely have been awful. We were hopeful for improvement this year. But in recent weeks, NFL fans have read about Young leaving the field during the week one match up against the Jaguars, having to be urged back onto the field by Fisher after he was booed for tossing his second interception of the day. He is also said to have scared friends and family with threats of suicide the following day. Denials have been issued, and it is hard to tell what to believe. But I am very much of the "where there is smoke, there is fire" opinion. Young has serious problems on and off the field. I am a devoted Titans fan, and it pains me to say the two things that follow:
1. If and when he returns to the starting lineup this year, Young will not make any significant contributions towards team success beyond what was achieved last year. In other words, a Young quarterbacked Titans team will not make it past the first round of the playoffs this year.
2. Unless Young makes absolutely enormous changes in his game and his mindset, he will never come close to leading the Titans to a Super Bowl victory.
Matt Leinart- The easy knock on Leinart is to say that he is so wrapped up in the celebrity of his occupation that he has lost touch with what got him there in the first place. You can base this conclusion on the Internet photos and rumors about him that have been widely circulated. But if you believe what his coaches say, this isn't true. The guy lives in the film room, is admired by his team mates, and has great work habits. So they say. And last year was lost to injuries for Leinart, which wasn't his fault. Assuming his coaches are correct and that Leinart his doing everything he is supposed to do, then the remaining conclusion is that he simply isn't as good as the Cardinals thought he was when they drafted him. He had his shot to beat our Kurt Warner in the preseason this year, and he couldn't do it. Frankly, it wasn't even close. Is Leinart doomed to Ryan Leaf comparisons as a result? It's too early to say at this point. Warner can't play forever, and too much money has been spent on Leinart to just ditch him without another shot. But the Cardinals coaches have made it clear that they are going with the QB that gives them the best chance to win.
So that leaves Cutler from the big three of the 2006 draft as the guy who is living up to and surpassing the hype. His brilliant game today is just the begining. He will establish himself during this year as one of the best quarterbacks in the league. He will put up exceptional numbers and demonstrate great leadership. And remember that I said it here...Jay Cutler will lead Denver to at least one Super Bowl win before he is done.
Just across town in Music City at the time there was something happening in the world of football that local residents were unprepared for...Vanderbilt University had a pretty decent football team. Vandy would start the season with dramatic wins over Wake Forest and Arkansas, scare the daylights out of perennial Southeastern Conference powerhouse Florida in an overtime loss, and finish with their first win over in-state rival Tennessee since Ronald Reagan was in office. For an egghead school with a history of football ineptitude paired with success in country club sports and women's basketball, the 5-6 record that Vandy posted that fall was cause for celebration.
As the possible end of the line for Steve McNair in Nashville was being pondered by local sports fans, Vanderbilt quarterback Jay Cutler was seeing his stock rise with NFL scouts thanks to his strong showing that fall for the Commodores. There had been seasons when Vanderbilt had seemingly set offensive football back to the days of leather helmets in years past, yet here was Cutler putting up great passing numbers amid speculation that he had moved up to being a possible first round selection. By the time he ended up as the first guy from Vandy in 38 seasons to earn Southeastern Conference Offensive Player of the Year honors, there was a chorus of local sports fans who agreed on one huge thing; we wanted to see Jay Cutler in a Titans uniform.
I was thinking about all of this today as I was watching the final minutes of the game between Denver and San Diego. As Cutler led the Broncos to a dramatic victory over the favored Chargers, memories from the spring of 2006 that involve the former Vanderbilt QB, as well as Vince Young, Matt Leinart, the Tennessee Titans and the Broncos, came to mind.
You see, as the dismal 2005 season for the Titans came to an end and we found out that our team would pick third in the April 2006 NFL draft, quarterback fever struck in Nashville. It seemed as though you could not turn on sports talk radio for even a few minutes without hearing speculation about which top rated signal caller would be coming to town to rescue the Titans. The marquee names were Vine Young of Texas and Matt Leinart of USC, who had just faced each other in an epic Rose Bowl. Young's Longhorns won the game and the national championship, but both men were seen as big time NFL prospects. The name of USC tailback Reggie Bush was tossed around a bit, but we all suspected he would be off the board with the first pick. Anyway, we needed an elite quarterback and either Leinart or Young would be there at number three.
But Cutler's superb senior year across town at Vanderbilt, combined with his excellent daft workouts, now had some scouts ranking him as a top ten pick and a close third to Young and Leinart among available quarterbacks. To those of us who had followed him locally, we were confident he was every bit as good as the two bigger names. Cutler had played for lowly Vandy, yet had put up exceptional numbers while often running for his life behind offensive lines that were often outmatched by the defenses they faced. He was smart, poised and extremely well developed as an athlete and a quarterback. He was going to succeed, and for us it was just a matter of seeing which team was wise enough to choose him.
However, by the time draft day arrived we were pretty sure the Titans were not going to take Cutler. Young and Leinart were still seen as the elite picks with the most upside. Cutler was very good, but was still seen as the third ranked signal caller in the bunch. At least that is what the people paid to forecast the draft were saying.
But I was unfazed. I stood around at Judge Bean's Barbecue, site of Cutler's Nashville draft party, reciting a scenario I had been talking about for weeks. I was certain it would be a winner for our local pro team. Since Cutler was likely to go somewhere between picks 10 and 13, I thought the Titans should trade down a few spots, receiving desperately needed extra picks in the process. They would take Cutler somewhere in the seven to 10 range and then give him an offensive weapon or two with the extra picks from the trade. It made so much sense. Plenty of people agreed with me.
But as you know by now, that didn't happen. The Texans led things off by picking defensive end Mario Williams and the Saints followed with the choice of Reggie Bush. Then the Titans did what many of us had expected by that point when they selected Young to be the QB of the future. Titans team owner Bud Adams lives in Houston. Young had gone to high school in Houston and had brought an NCAA football championship back to the Lone Star State while at the University of Texas. It has been widely assumed that Adams had the final say over Titans scouts on the choice of Young. It was, after all, Adams' money.
Leinart fell a bit in the draft that day, thanks in part to some late doubts about his arm strength and also the fact that the teams picking three through nine either didn't need a quarterback or wanted one other than him. Picking in the 10th spot, the forever snake-bitten Arizona Cardinals franchise took Leinart. Immediately after that pick, Denver head coach Mike Shanahan was said to have called Titans coach Jeff Fisher for a scouting report on Cutler. Fisher says that he told Shanahan he had absolutely no doubts about Cutler, and Denver traded up to the 11 spot to take him. I was sitting at the bar of the barbecue joint in Nashville pounding beers when Cutler's name was announced. When Cutler entered the room to a huge round of applause, I told a friend that he was going to be a huge success in Denver and that all of us in Nashville would likely end up regretting that we hadn't gotten him.
Okay, so fast-forward to the games today, and there was Cutler doing exactly what many of us in Nashville figured he would do...playing as an elite level NFL quarterback for Denver. After San Diego scored to take the lead with less than five minutes to go, Denver's chances of winning were in Cutler's hands. Legendary Denver quarterback John Elway, the man whose legacy Cutler has had to live up to, made a name for himself with game-winning drives as time was running out. Today was Cutler's chance to show he can do the same thing. The Chargers have been picked by many to win the AFC, and they had roared back from a 14 point halftime deficit to take the lead. What did Cutler do? He calmly led his team down the field for what appeared to be the game tying touchdown. But after his scoring pass to rookie Eddie Royal, Shanahan, demonstrating his confidence in his signal caller, sent his offense back out for a two point conversion attempt that was literally a win/lose choice. Cutler found Royal again, this time in heavy coverage. Denver 39, San Diego 38. Final.
So where were Young and Leinart today?
Vince Young- All of us in Nashville told ourselves that we were getting the guy who beat USC, and that his style of play, unorthodox by NFL standards, could be molded with proper coaching. Yes, he seemed to want to run the ball right away if the first receiver in his progression was covered, and his throwing motion was a bit odd. But the guy was a winner, we said, and that is all that matters. And after his first year, when he was named the league's top offensive rookie, we believed that the sky was the limit. However, Young's second year in the league showed signs of serious regression. When he ran, he wasn't nearly as effective as he had been in college or as a rookie. And his accuracy was atrocious, with over-throws and interceptions happening far too often. Also, the red zone offense with him at the controls was woeful. Were it not for an improved defense, the team would likely have been awful. We were hopeful for improvement this year. But in recent weeks, NFL fans have read about Young leaving the field during the week one match up against the Jaguars, having to be urged back onto the field by Fisher after he was booed for tossing his second interception of the day. He is also said to have scared friends and family with threats of suicide the following day. Denials have been issued, and it is hard to tell what to believe. But I am very much of the "where there is smoke, there is fire" opinion. Young has serious problems on and off the field. I am a devoted Titans fan, and it pains me to say the two things that follow:
1. If and when he returns to the starting lineup this year, Young will not make any significant contributions towards team success beyond what was achieved last year. In other words, a Young quarterbacked Titans team will not make it past the first round of the playoffs this year.
2. Unless Young makes absolutely enormous changes in his game and his mindset, he will never come close to leading the Titans to a Super Bowl victory.
Matt Leinart- The easy knock on Leinart is to say that he is so wrapped up in the celebrity of his occupation that he has lost touch with what got him there in the first place. You can base this conclusion on the Internet photos and rumors about him that have been widely circulated. But if you believe what his coaches say, this isn't true. The guy lives in the film room, is admired by his team mates, and has great work habits. So they say. And last year was lost to injuries for Leinart, which wasn't his fault. Assuming his coaches are correct and that Leinart his doing everything he is supposed to do, then the remaining conclusion is that he simply isn't as good as the Cardinals thought he was when they drafted him. He had his shot to beat our Kurt Warner in the preseason this year, and he couldn't do it. Frankly, it wasn't even close. Is Leinart doomed to Ryan Leaf comparisons as a result? It's too early to say at this point. Warner can't play forever, and too much money has been spent on Leinart to just ditch him without another shot. But the Cardinals coaches have made it clear that they are going with the QB that gives them the best chance to win.
So that leaves Cutler from the big three of the 2006 draft as the guy who is living up to and surpassing the hype. His brilliant game today is just the begining. He will establish himself during this year as one of the best quarterbacks in the league. He will put up exceptional numbers and demonstrate great leadership. And remember that I said it here...Jay Cutler will lead Denver to at least one Super Bowl win before he is done.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Of Eye Glasses and Action Figures
Years ago my father purchased a six pack of Billy Beer. Some of you may remember this product as the brew produced in the name of former President Jimmy Carter's brother Billy. During the days when the peanut farmer from Plains, Georgia occupied the White House, his hillbilly brother was seen as comic relief in a political world that was still a few years away from 24 hour news cycles (how much more would we have seen of him in the current climate?). Billy would pop up in the paper or during the last few minutes of the national evening newscasts every now and then, and putting the name of the notoriously uncouth first brother on a can of suds created an appropriate and humorous political artifact. The six pack in our home collected dust for many years, launching a few nostalgic conversations along the way. It's no longer in the family home and I don't know where it ended up.
I bring up this brew at the current time after watching/reading the news over the last two weeks and observing what may be the Billy Beer-like items for this year's election. Elections create artifacts that, depending on the ultimate significance of the politician involved, may have some pop culture significance in the years to come. Many are unique pieces of campaign advertising, while some are just downright silly items that caught on briefly for dubious reasons.
But remember that some guy went to work one day back in the 1950's and scribbled the phrase "I Like Ike" as a possible campaign slogan. I'm sure it seemed simple and obvious at the time. So obvious, perhaps, that one might have been tempted to think little of it at the time. Yet, it is arguably the most memorable campaign slogan in America and the buttons that sport it are valued collectibles.
Will there be such a collectible from the current election? Will there at least be some item that is funny for us to talk about in years to come? Two items came to mind for me during the last few weeks...the action figures created in the image of republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin, and the designer eye glass frames worn by her these days on the campaign trail.
The action figures are certainly not unprecedented. Our current president was the model for one when he gave his infamous Mission Accomplished speech on an aircraft carrier early in the current war (ask Keith Olberman for the exact number of days that have passed since then). Considering what a horrific blunder that speech was, the GI Joe version of Bush in a flight suit is probably hidden from view in the homes of even his most enthusiastic supporters. You would have to be an absolute rat-bastard idiot to brag about that sad day in American politics. But then again, the man was elected twice. So some fool who actually believes that Bush was at some point a fighter pilot probably displays one proudly on his mantle.
Palin's action figure seems slightly more appropriate for a couple of reasons. First off, it isn't related to a specific and potentially ill-fated event (other than perhaps her very presence on the ticket, depending on your beliefs). Palin in a business suit is much easier to stomach than Bush in a flight suit. The Bush action figure had a distinct vibe all to itself. It's existence was sort of like making an action figure of your child from those 4th of July holidays from yesteryear, when the little bugger got to put on a helmet and climb on to the local firetruck for the snapping of family photos. The big difference, of course, is that you would have sent your kid to his room if he tried to start an unnecessary war with the Muslim kids across town.
The very word "action" related to a Palin doll seems a bit more appropriate. She has, in her forty plus years, led a life pulled from the pages of Field & Stream, tromping through the wilderness pursuing all sorts of fin and fur-covered critters. Pull the string on the back of a Bush action figure and it pisses away the good will of the entire world. A younger version snorts coke while overseeing the demise of start-up petroleum companies.
Now, aside from the business-like Palin doll, I have also seen a superhero version and another that features the Alaska governor wearing what appears to be a catholic school girl uniform. Portraying her as a superhero seems a bit premature, regardless of her hunting and fishing skills or the impression she has made on bill O'Reilly. But remember that giving her a greatly extended standing ovation prior to her convention speech,, when she had never so much as given one nationally televised address, seemed like running the flag up way to early as well. Obama was accused of rock star status in early McCain adds, but Palin was greeted on her first day on the main stage like U2 from some parallel universe where Bono hangs out at Bass Pro Shops.
The school girl Palin doll is a whole other thing. I've heard the word "sexism" more times in the last couple of weeks than I have in years. But oddly enough, it is coming from a group of people who didn't seem to know the meaning of it until recently. However, I haven't read anything yet that accuses the makers of the school girl Palin doll of objectifying the VP candidate. Strange days, indeed.
The aforementioned sudden popularity of Palin's eye glasses, something that has been documented in the press this past week, also deserves consideration. The Kazuo Kawasaki model number 704 frames ($375.00 retail) are jumping off the shelves in stores around the country, having been described as "sophisticated, but with an edge". I find this to be bizarre on a pretty grand scale. Consider that everyone who sees a person in these glasses will know exactly who inspired the wearer to purchase them. In this sense, they are like political parachute pants, with Palin serving as MC Hammer for 2008.
But remember that glasses have plenty to do with the overall appearance of a person. Wearing these frames is not the same thing as putting on the tie that you saw John McCain wearing during his speech. Think about it...if I said "John Lennon glasses", would you know what I was talking about? Sure you would. So do you, frame number 704 purchaser, want to seem like you are following the tips of that noted fashionista Sarah Palin, or do you want to seem like a maverick? Hell, why not just get a "mission accomplished" tattoo?
Okay, so this completes entry number one for my blog. Tune in again soon. I'll try to amp down the fluff content in future entries.
I bring up this brew at the current time after watching/reading the news over the last two weeks and observing what may be the Billy Beer-like items for this year's election. Elections create artifacts that, depending on the ultimate significance of the politician involved, may have some pop culture significance in the years to come. Many are unique pieces of campaign advertising, while some are just downright silly items that caught on briefly for dubious reasons.
But remember that some guy went to work one day back in the 1950's and scribbled the phrase "I Like Ike" as a possible campaign slogan. I'm sure it seemed simple and obvious at the time. So obvious, perhaps, that one might have been tempted to think little of it at the time. Yet, it is arguably the most memorable campaign slogan in America and the buttons that sport it are valued collectibles.
Will there be such a collectible from the current election? Will there at least be some item that is funny for us to talk about in years to come? Two items came to mind for me during the last few weeks...the action figures created in the image of republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin, and the designer eye glass frames worn by her these days on the campaign trail.
The action figures are certainly not unprecedented. Our current president was the model for one when he gave his infamous Mission Accomplished speech on an aircraft carrier early in the current war (ask Keith Olberman for the exact number of days that have passed since then). Considering what a horrific blunder that speech was, the GI Joe version of Bush in a flight suit is probably hidden from view in the homes of even his most enthusiastic supporters. You would have to be an absolute rat-bastard idiot to brag about that sad day in American politics. But then again, the man was elected twice. So some fool who actually believes that Bush was at some point a fighter pilot probably displays one proudly on his mantle.
Palin's action figure seems slightly more appropriate for a couple of reasons. First off, it isn't related to a specific and potentially ill-fated event (other than perhaps her very presence on the ticket, depending on your beliefs). Palin in a business suit is much easier to stomach than Bush in a flight suit. The Bush action figure had a distinct vibe all to itself. It's existence was sort of like making an action figure of your child from those 4th of July holidays from yesteryear, when the little bugger got to put on a helmet and climb on to the local firetruck for the snapping of family photos. The big difference, of course, is that you would have sent your kid to his room if he tried to start an unnecessary war with the Muslim kids across town.
The very word "action" related to a Palin doll seems a bit more appropriate. She has, in her forty plus years, led a life pulled from the pages of Field & Stream, tromping through the wilderness pursuing all sorts of fin and fur-covered critters. Pull the string on the back of a Bush action figure and it pisses away the good will of the entire world. A younger version snorts coke while overseeing the demise of start-up petroleum companies.
Now, aside from the business-like Palin doll, I have also seen a superhero version and another that features the Alaska governor wearing what appears to be a catholic school girl uniform. Portraying her as a superhero seems a bit premature, regardless of her hunting and fishing skills or the impression she has made on bill O'Reilly. But remember that giving her a greatly extended standing ovation prior to her convention speech,, when she had never so much as given one nationally televised address, seemed like running the flag up way to early as well. Obama was accused of rock star status in early McCain adds, but Palin was greeted on her first day on the main stage like U2 from some parallel universe where Bono hangs out at Bass Pro Shops.
The school girl Palin doll is a whole other thing. I've heard the word "sexism" more times in the last couple of weeks than I have in years. But oddly enough, it is coming from a group of people who didn't seem to know the meaning of it until recently. However, I haven't read anything yet that accuses the makers of the school girl Palin doll of objectifying the VP candidate. Strange days, indeed.
The aforementioned sudden popularity of Palin's eye glasses, something that has been documented in the press this past week, also deserves consideration. The Kazuo Kawasaki model number 704 frames ($375.00 retail) are jumping off the shelves in stores around the country, having been described as "sophisticated, but with an edge". I find this to be bizarre on a pretty grand scale. Consider that everyone who sees a person in these glasses will know exactly who inspired the wearer to purchase them. In this sense, they are like political parachute pants, with Palin serving as MC Hammer for 2008.
But remember that glasses have plenty to do with the overall appearance of a person. Wearing these frames is not the same thing as putting on the tie that you saw John McCain wearing during his speech. Think about it...if I said "John Lennon glasses", would you know what I was talking about? Sure you would. So do you, frame number 704 purchaser, want to seem like you are following the tips of that noted fashionista Sarah Palin, or do you want to seem like a maverick? Hell, why not just get a "mission accomplished" tattoo?
Okay, so this completes entry number one for my blog. Tune in again soon. I'll try to amp down the fluff content in future entries.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
